On my mind...

Let me start off first by saying NO, this is not my way of announcing any happy news to the world. In fact, it is the exact opposite. It is my way of saying, No, I am not pregnant, and no I am not devastated by that fact.

Lately, just about everyone I know who is in a couple (at work, with friends, with family) is pregnant. Between November 25th and December 31st, 4 people I know had babies. Between today and July 15th (approx) there will be at least another 8 (7 pregnancies, 1 with twins). Now, keep in mind, I do not begrudge my friends their happiness. In fact, I don't begrudge my friends anything. I love all of them, and I love their kids too. I can generally be counted on to bring a ridiculous number of gifts and toys to newborns, and I try my best to do something for every new pregnant mother that I know. I buy books, I buy outfits, I treat to lunch, etc.

This is, therefore, not about my friends and their pregnancies. This is about the random person who always seems to be standing right next to us when we're talking about one of these pregnancies. They can be counted on to say one of the following things:

1. So, when are YOU going to have a baby?
2. Aren't YOU going to have a baby?
3. How long are you guys going to wait?
and, my personal favorite,
4. So, are you just not having kids???

The questions are never from friends, because the folks we know either know the plan or figure we'll do whatever's right for us. These questions are from people I barely know or from people I don't even particularly like. The response I would like to use (though I am too nice to actually do it) is to say, "Actually, I'm infertile and I'm devastated about it. Thanks so much for bringing up such a terrible thing." But I won't.

Common wisdom may say that these people mean well. I disagree. These are not people who care about my welfare -- they are rarely people who would notice if I was there or not. They've just decided that I am of the "age" to be having children. It reminds me of the remark Jenn has frequently heard, "You're not married? But you're so pretty!" There are choices involved here. There is no set plan -- no requirement that the day I hit 30, I become pregnant. In fact, if the recent news provides the word on the subject, I've got years and years to go.

So, to clear it up once and for all:

1. No, I do not dislike children. In fact, I adore them.
2. Yes, someday we plan to have children of our own.
3. No, it will not be in the next 9 months.
4. No, we do not plan to consult anyone other than each other (and maybe a doctor) about planning.

Since we're now on day 4 of the new year, I figured it's just about time to get those resolutions in order. One of them could, I suppose, be doing things on time but since (other than blogging) I'm pretty good at that, I'll figure that these late resolutions are not part of a larger trend. So, here we go:

1. The obvious -- lose (and keep off) that annoying last 10 pounds. It's not a list of resolutions unless there's something weight related, so I figured I'd get it out of the way right at the start.

2. Hire my assistant. I got approval 4 months ago, and just haven't had time to hire him/her yet.

3. Leave the past in the past. I am that girl who googles everyone she has ever met to try to find out where they've ended up. Yes, I know where the boys I loved in high school are, and yes, I even know where some of the folks I hated are.

4. Learn to knit and/or crochet. My weak, pathetic attempt to be domestic. Not only do I want to be a girly-girl, but I also want to be 75 years old.

5. See that old friends are not necessarily better than new friends. I have a new-ish friend who IM's just to say hello, though we don't know each other well and don' t have any deep emotional connection. I have old friends who wander in and out of life, forget my birthday, and come back around when it suits them. In the new year, I will accept that the former is often better than the latter, even when the latter's got history going for him/her.

6. Take a cooking class. I'm currently looking at "Artisan Bread Baking" or "Phun with Phyllo." And yes, that really is the name of the class.

7. Ignore (or at least accept) the driveby email. You know the one -- the email that comes out of nowhere from someone who shouldn't be emailing you, who then decides to fall back off the face of the earth. Along with leaving the past in the past, I will accept that some people don't have it in them to have a relationship beyond a single email.

8. Not only get started back to the gym (read jennism.blogspot.com for thoughts on that one) but actually attend regularly. Something like 3 times a week. Maybe.

Okay, 8 resolutions that I'll break by the end of the week is a good enough start. Happy New Year everybody!