My new mood.... Worried...
I was talking to a semi-friend the other day (not semi as in I don't like him all that much, but semi in that I don't know him all that well, have known him for less than a year and know him only in one setting). So, we don't know each other all that well, but I know him well enough to know that he's an amazing person -- talented, creative, sweet but still a smartass in that way that I completely understand, able to be silly and serious within the same moment, just one of those people that you can't help but want to spend time around.
Well, for those of you who know me, you know that I'm a worrier -- not about the world in general, or about myself, but about my friends. My friends are my life, and I want them to be happy and content and have life "go their way," especially when I think that they really deserve it. I worry when it doesn't seem to be going that way. And, well, things are not going my new friend's way right now - it's been a rough last year for him, in a way that makes me feel guilty bitching about how crappy I've been feeling about my own life. I knew this, but things got worse in the past few weeks, and I wish there was something I could do.
The conversation we were having the other night made me flashback to my conversations with my J a few years ago. The conversations that had me screaming about "how dare you" and "what about me" and all of that selfish crap that was all I could think of at the time. I couldn't imagine that she didn't get how amazing she is and how much the world needed her around. More important to me, how much I needed (and still need) her around. How much, even on her worst days, she made my life better, and how much worse my life would be if she wasn't there. In that moment, she couldn't get that those she knew and even those she barely knew at all were better for having her around.
As I was talking to my much newer friend the other night, I was realizing how rare it is that we tell people how amazing we think they are. How much worse our lives would be without those little moments that they give to us. How their presence in the world makes us more content, happier, more at peace than if they weren't there. And how much the karma of the world just HAS to turn around for the better because they simply do not deserve the cards they've been dealt and have to get better very soon.
I'm trying to figure out how to say to someone I barely know that, in just the short time I've known him, he has changed me for the better. I know that he probably doesn't even remember the things that he's said that have changed me and my view of myself (I say this because part of the "knowing him in one setting" thing from above includes heavy alcohol). I also doubt that he sees that this is part of him being his amazing self, and not just part of me having at least 6 too many drinks every time I see him.
So, if anyone has any clever and effective ways of getting someone to see how wonderful they are, let me know.
Well, for those of you who know me, you know that I'm a worrier -- not about the world in general, or about myself, but about my friends. My friends are my life, and I want them to be happy and content and have life "go their way," especially when I think that they really deserve it. I worry when it doesn't seem to be going that way. And, well, things are not going my new friend's way right now - it's been a rough last year for him, in a way that makes me feel guilty bitching about how crappy I've been feeling about my own life. I knew this, but things got worse in the past few weeks, and I wish there was something I could do.
The conversation we were having the other night made me flashback to my conversations with my J a few years ago. The conversations that had me screaming about "how dare you" and "what about me" and all of that selfish crap that was all I could think of at the time. I couldn't imagine that she didn't get how amazing she is and how much the world needed her around. More important to me, how much I needed (and still need) her around. How much, even on her worst days, she made my life better, and how much worse my life would be if she wasn't there. In that moment, she couldn't get that those she knew and even those she barely knew at all were better for having her around.
As I was talking to my much newer friend the other night, I was realizing how rare it is that we tell people how amazing we think they are. How much worse our lives would be without those little moments that they give to us. How their presence in the world makes us more content, happier, more at peace than if they weren't there. And how much the karma of the world just HAS to turn around for the better because they simply do not deserve the cards they've been dealt and have to get better very soon.
I'm trying to figure out how to say to someone I barely know that, in just the short time I've known him, he has changed me for the better. I know that he probably doesn't even remember the things that he's said that have changed me and my view of myself (I say this because part of the "knowing him in one setting" thing from above includes heavy alcohol). I also doubt that he sees that this is part of him being his amazing self, and not just part of me having at least 6 too many drinks every time I see him.
So, if anyone has any clever and effective ways of getting someone to see how wonderful they are, let me know.
I hope you got your point across. I try and let my kids know everyday how special I think they are. When I write out my cards to the graduating Seniors I make sure to include how they've touched my life and what I think is so special about them. (I try not to "cross the line" or write things that might be interpreted that way because of all the inappropriate relationships between mentors and kids lately.)Sometimes I think just showing you care makes ALL the difference (and you know for me, it's always the little things people remember or say or do that mean much more than the big ones.)
Posted by
Jenn |
9:14 AM