Cranky girl....
I woke up in a cranky mood this morning. Not quite sure why, but it happens every time I go out of town and come back. After having fun out and seeing the girls, and just generally having a good time, I always end up sad, as if coming back to my "real" life just isn't what it's cracked up to be.
I used to go away for the weekend and come back happy to be home. I have always loved spending time with my friends, but I used to love to be home again, as if there was something better to come home to. Now, I feel sad and depressed and just want to go back to the beach.
Jenn and I had a conversation yesterday about my "true" self and I told her how I very rarely feel like my true self is the one I'm showing when I'm in my day to day life. My true self is "Jenn's Kare," also known as my vacation self, or drunk Karen. Keep in mind on that last comment that I don't actually have to be drunk for this true self to be present, though it doesn't hurt.
I'm feeling right now like my true self is buried somewhere under obligation and mortgage payments and misery. No, I'm not clinically depressed or anything like that; just sad that after almost a year since the "big move" things aren't feeling like they're any better. I've gotten better most days at not being the super b**ch that I was being about how much I hated NJ, but that's mostly just cover, not genuine acceptance. I'm happier now that we're in the house, but that's mostly because the apartment was a hell hole and now I have my own space, not because the situation is better.
Okay, I"m done complaining. Off to put on the happy face and go back to work.
I used to go away for the weekend and come back happy to be home. I have always loved spending time with my friends, but I used to love to be home again, as if there was something better to come home to. Now, I feel sad and depressed and just want to go back to the beach.
Jenn and I had a conversation yesterday about my "true" self and I told her how I very rarely feel like my true self is the one I'm showing when I'm in my day to day life. My true self is "Jenn's Kare," also known as my vacation self, or drunk Karen. Keep in mind on that last comment that I don't actually have to be drunk for this true self to be present, though it doesn't hurt.
I'm feeling right now like my true self is buried somewhere under obligation and mortgage payments and misery. No, I'm not clinically depressed or anything like that; just sad that after almost a year since the "big move" things aren't feeling like they're any better. I've gotten better most days at not being the super b**ch that I was being about how much I hated NJ, but that's mostly just cover, not genuine acceptance. I'm happier now that we're in the house, but that's mostly because the apartment was a hell hole and now I have my own space, not because the situation is better.
Okay, I"m done complaining. Off to put on the happy face and go back to work.
