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Saturday, December 30, 2006 

Abandoning the blog

This will officially be the last entry in this blog. I started this blog almost 3 years ago, as a place to write my thoughts, get my feelings and emotions on the proverbial paper and give myself a place to put my memories (good and bad) of things that have happened. Tonight, I learned that the things I write here are often twisted and turned and are essentially used against me.

On my blog, I try my best to be honest and genuine. It is who I am. Those who know me know that I do not lie well, and that I therefore generally don't bother to try. I am sometimes cryptic on this blog, as I am protecting myself from those who don't really know or understand me as well as protecting those of my friends who I may mention.

What I learned tonight is that there are those who read what is here and in other locations online and, without context or full information, choose to decide for themselves what the things I write here mean. I had an inkling of this a few months back when my mother had the impression that I was "informing" others of events in my life that I was keeping from her, purely because they read my blog and she did not. Those who read what I write and choose to draw their own conclusions and, worse yet, to share those conclusions with those who might be hurt by their assumptions are at best petty gossips and are, at worst, spiteful and intentionally hurtful.

I hate to allow that kind of person to change what I do but I suppose this is the way of the world. As if I had not already drawn myself into enough of a cocoon this year, this will be one step further, removing myself from those I used to call friends. To them, I say goodbye and best of luck. For those who are true friends, who truly know me, care about me, and know the person I am, I apologize for needing to remove this way of speaking to you, but I am simply not able to be honest here any longer.

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