Wow, do people suck sometimes, or what??
I just got an email from one of the hubby's friends, sending along a chain of email conversations between him (the friend) and the guy who used to be very close to all of us and then dropped off the face of the earth. This is a guy who was a major part of the whole crew's life -- he was in multiple weddings, was a godfather to a few kids. His 30th b-day party was held at one of our houses. We drove an hour plus to see him in a play.
And then he disappeared. We had heard the occasional "I can't make it because I'm out of town" crap, but not much else. Then one of the guys decided enough was enough and emailed, saying that he wanted to update him on his own life changes (including a daughter who constantly wants to know when her "uncle" is coming to visit and a newborn son) and find out what was going on.
The explanation just floors me. It apparently occurred to him that all these guys had in common were their college days (which is not true, since they now share over 10 years of history beyond college) and that he just couldn't integrate the person he wanted to be into the stagnation he felt being with them. So, he went back to the girl he was with in college (so much for moving on) and got married and is preparing for his kid -- due this summer -- and just decided that the message would be implicit that he wasn't around anymore. He never told anyone that he got married or was expecting. He just disappeared. In the emails, he actually wrote "I have valued, enjoyed and appreciated our friendship over the years. But at this point in time I think it would be too difficult to try to integrate my life now with my college friends." Is that the coldest thing you've ever heard or what? The guy emailing with him told him to "leave off the standard resignation line" if he was in touch with anyone else.
Now, I have friends with whom I've had very little contact over the past several years. Some of them, admittedly, I have little in common with other than the college years. But, ya know what, given the chance to see them once a year I still would. I wouldn't write them off.
What does it say about those years of friendship that they are so easy to leave behind????
And then he disappeared. We had heard the occasional "I can't make it because I'm out of town" crap, but not much else. Then one of the guys decided enough was enough and emailed, saying that he wanted to update him on his own life changes (including a daughter who constantly wants to know when her "uncle" is coming to visit and a newborn son) and find out what was going on.
The explanation just floors me. It apparently occurred to him that all these guys had in common were their college days (which is not true, since they now share over 10 years of history beyond college) and that he just couldn't integrate the person he wanted to be into the stagnation he felt being with them. So, he went back to the girl he was with in college (so much for moving on) and got married and is preparing for his kid -- due this summer -- and just decided that the message would be implicit that he wasn't around anymore. He never told anyone that he got married or was expecting. He just disappeared. In the emails, he actually wrote "I have valued, enjoyed and appreciated our friendship over the years. But at this point in time I think it would be too difficult to try to integrate my life now with my college friends." Is that the coldest thing you've ever heard or what? The guy emailing with him told him to "leave off the standard resignation line" if he was in touch with anyone else.
Now, I have friends with whom I've had very little contact over the past several years. Some of them, admittedly, I have little in common with other than the college years. But, ya know what, given the chance to see them once a year I still would. I wouldn't write them off.
What does it say about those years of friendship that they are so easy to leave behind????
you know how I feel about this.
Nothing precipitated the decision except a lack of contact with the real world?
Interesting
Posted by
Smelmooo |
11:25 AM
As one of those people whom keep in touch sporadically, and have pretty much just the "growing up years in common" I have to say that was just about the lamest thing I've ever heard.
Maybe I'm crazy, but I tend to value even more those college friends (or high school) that I only see occasionally because they keep me grounded by reminding me of who I am and how far I've come.
-g
Posted by
mickeyg |
7:19 PM
All I have to say is....Are you kidding me?!?!?!?!? Oh yeah, and I'd also like to add I want to smack him!
Posted by
Jenn |
9:22 PM