Usually, I just write about whatever's on my mind. As you can see, there hasn't been much the last few days (other than my anger at President Bush). So, I'm going to spend this time responding to Jenn's blog.
For those of you who don't know Jenn, or at least don't read her blog, you should know that one of the big themes running through it is a search for answers. Some hope that out of all of the confusion that the world brings us, there are good reasons for everything and that it all makes sense somehow. So, here's my response -- There are no answers.
This isn't some kind of nietzsche-esqe, God is Dead kind of rant, or anything like that. It isn't that I don't believe that the world makes sense. I do. I just don't think that it makes sense in the way we usually WANT it to make sense.
For example, along the course of our lives, we make decisions that change how our lives are going to work out. Sometimes, we look at these decisions years later and wonder what the heck we were thinking -- why were we so proud? so needy? so indecisive? so thoughtless? or maybe why did we think we knew the answers when we didn't really know anything?
So many of these seemingly small decisions (a fight, a kiss, arguing, making up, a midnight drunken phone call or a hung-up phone) end up changing everything. For example, if not for one day in September 1996 (and no, this blog is not the place for details) I can tell you my life would be a whole heck of a lot different now. Not necessarily better, happier, more fulfillling or any of that stuff that we hope our lives will lead us to but definitely different.
And now, all these years later, would I go back and change it all if given the chance? I don't know. I'd have the answers Jenn is always searching for, but maybe part of the "good stuff" in life is in not knowing. Not knowing what might have been, not knowing all the answers and getting to wonder, "what if?"
And maybe that's how it all makes sense. That the good stuff is lying somewhere in the "maybe" and the "what if" and that, if we knew everything, life would be boring and meaningless. Or at least, that's what I'm telling myself.
For those of you who don't know Jenn, or at least don't read her blog, you should know that one of the big themes running through it is a search for answers. Some hope that out of all of the confusion that the world brings us, there are good reasons for everything and that it all makes sense somehow. So, here's my response -- There are no answers.
This isn't some kind of nietzsche-esqe, God is Dead kind of rant, or anything like that. It isn't that I don't believe that the world makes sense. I do. I just don't think that it makes sense in the way we usually WANT it to make sense.
For example, along the course of our lives, we make decisions that change how our lives are going to work out. Sometimes, we look at these decisions years later and wonder what the heck we were thinking -- why were we so proud? so needy? so indecisive? so thoughtless? or maybe why did we think we knew the answers when we didn't really know anything?
So many of these seemingly small decisions (a fight, a kiss, arguing, making up, a midnight drunken phone call or a hung-up phone) end up changing everything. For example, if not for one day in September 1996 (and no, this blog is not the place for details) I can tell you my life would be a whole heck of a lot different now. Not necessarily better, happier, more fulfillling or any of that stuff that we hope our lives will lead us to but definitely different.
And now, all these years later, would I go back and change it all if given the chance? I don't know. I'd have the answers Jenn is always searching for, but maybe part of the "good stuff" in life is in not knowing. Not knowing what might have been, not knowing all the answers and getting to wonder, "what if?"
And maybe that's how it all makes sense. That the good stuff is lying somewhere in the "maybe" and the "what if" and that, if we knew everything, life would be boring and meaningless. Or at least, that's what I'm telling myself.
