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Thursday, January 20, 2005 

An Angela Chase moment

Okay, for starters, if you don't know who Angela Chase is, you must stop reading now. Because, what were you doing in the early 90s? Off having a LIFE or something?

So, with that said, I've been having an Angela Chase moment or two lately. Not about my own personal Jordan Catalano (though I do, of course, know where he lives, and freak out just a little every time I go to the grocery store, since it's in the town between our 2 towns) but instead I'm having that moment from the New Year's Eve episode, where she resolves to be less introspective... And then introspectively wonders if being less introspective will make her a really shallow person. And therefore second guesses her own resolutions. Introspectively, of course.

I've been having quite a few second thoughts about my resolutions. (Not the knitting or the cooking class, though those would be easier to stick with if people returned calls) Mainly with the one about the past. It occurred to me that I spend a lot of time thinking about things from my past, people from my past, events, etc. Sometimes, I wonder "what if" -- what if this or that had happened differently, what if I knew someone earlier, or met them later, or whatever. This is, I realize, completely counterproductive. But, I think this is what happens when you take the history person out of the history environment. She is no longer studying OTHER peoples history and therefore dwells in her own.

And so, I'm wondering if resolving to let the past go, is making me think about it more. I keep hearing songs that remind me of all kinds of people. Doing the "how well do you know me" quiz the other day, I was wondering who would guess my best-ever birthday gift (JVH, you have to know this one).

I think now I'm going to resolve to think about nothing BUT the past. Maybe this kind of reverse psychology will work "in reverse."

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